002 fortune

a flashback. a first date. in a chinese dumpling restaurant:


"what does yours say? let me read it"
[she takes the cookie out of his hands. breaks it with her teeth and reads it out loud.

"a heart in love is always young"
[she laughs. and then smiles]

"okay. now you read my fortune"
[cookie in her grasp. she hands it to him]

[he smiles and takes the cookie.
gently, he cracks the cookie with his fingers.
nothing. an empty strip of paper]

"nothing"

"nothing? what do u mean nothing?"

"nothing!"
[he flashes the fortune]

"what does it mean then?
that i have no fortune.
that it's unwritten?
that it's in my hands?"

"nothing"

001 friend

max thinks i should do a screenplay. this is just a test:

"you can't keep doing this.

i know you were hurt,
and i understand how traumatizing that experience was for you,
and how it undeniably justifies your cynicism.

but that relationship,
you can't let it get in the way of every new one.

if you hide your fears
behind that excuse you can always make,
you.
lose.

that is exactly what he expects of you.
get a grip, bitch.
the problem is you."

tomorrow opens a new chapter

architecture is the most obvious choice
for now
i may not know where i am heading
but i have to start somewhere
and have a go at it:


1. online folio is ready

2. graduate exhibition this friday


i no longer crave success
which is a strange feeling

...

you egotism is... just freakin' annoying

the cycle of punishments is not going to benefit anyone

fine...

it is over

i don't miss you as much as i thought i would

(here we go again)

contingencies

pathetic ..

.. are intelligent people who fail to realize the disjunction between said words and the truth of mind, and go on and on to pontificate the meaningless. congratulations.


.. is the denial to move on from the nostalgia of their own youths, holding onto these beliefs as universal facts. and while there is nothing wrong with being sentimental, it is unnecessary to transform it into rhetoric. or worse, philosophy!


respect..

to people who are unashamedly indulgent, and acquire success while at it.